Postscript
Completing this site almost didn't happen. About half way through my diary entries I was admitted to hospital with acute pulmonary embolism and during the 11 days I spent in hospital I regretted that I had not finished it, so the first thing I did after getting out of hospital was to spend 2 weeks basically completing all the diary entries.
Working on this website really was like doing the pilgrimage for a second time. Many times whilst going through the photographs and reading my notes for a particular day, the feelings, the emotions and the thoughts I had on those days all came flooding back. Documenting it really helped me to appreciate what a really really fantastic experience it had been. There are so many things I could write about. Below are some answers to some simple questions I asked myself.
Q: Why did I do ohenro ?
While I was walking around people often asked me why I was doing ohenro. My answer was always one word, ummei - it means destiny in Japanese. Life conspires to lead you along a road that you choose to travel along so in that respect it was a journey that I had chosen to make even if I hadn't really made that choice !! If I had made different choices over the past few years I may well have been traveling along some other road. I doubt my Japanese was ever good enough to explain myself very well to anyone. To many, I'm sure my English will be equally inexplicable.
Q: Am I a better person for having done ohenro ?
The simple answer is no. I am better only in the sense that I know I can be a lot better. That better person in me surfaced many times and made plenty of appearances throughout this short journey. There have always been two important questions for me, "Why am I here?" and "Why am I what I am?". I found my answers to these a long time ago. Ohenro for me was a way of confronting more of my demons. The demons are the fears, the doubts, the bad habits that sometimes inhibit my peace of mind and prevent me from doing the things I want to do. The demons are still doing battle but there is no greater battle than the battle for greater self awareness and greater self mastery.
Q: Would I do ohenro again ?
Absolutely yes. One day in the future, in some life time or other, I hope I will retrace my steps around Shikoku once more.
Q: Would I change anything ?
No. The journey became what it was as a result of every step that preceded it and there are too many things I would not want to change about it.
If I do this journey again there will be things I will do differently -
Q: What was the most important lesson ?
Be kind and be gentle in every situation. Have faith in yourself and trust in a higher power.
Q: What was the best thing about ohenro ?
Ohenro was great from start to finish but two things stand out. One was the kindness I experienced and the other, those brief moments when I found complete clarity and wholeness.
Before I left I was worried about whether people would really help me but these fears were soon put to rest because from the very moment I stepped of the bus in Tokushima, people were helping me. More than just a willingness to help me it was the random and unexpected acts of kindness that touched me in a way that is very hard to describe. Maybe it is for that reason that I can still remember Yohei at Kokubunji (国分寺 - 29). He gave me ¥200 to buy a cold drink on what was a very hot day. It was the first time I had received osettai while walking alone. He and many others like him I can still remember because of their simple acts of kindness.
There were also moments of absolute clarity and a feeling that what I was doing couldn't be more right. Those were moments when I felt connected with something undeniably and unmistakably divine. Moments of intense peace when that goodness within you literally wants to burst out. These were moments that filled me with immense gratitude for being able to do what it was I was doing and with the question - what had I done, to deserve it all ?
Q: What did you think about when you were walking ?
I thought about a lot of things during my walk. During the first 2 weeks in particular, all kinds of thoughts came to my mind. Most were inspired by the books I had read over the past 12 years, others from my own experiences and the rest as a result of the journey itself.
Q: Have you seen Takuya since completing ohenro ?
In early December 2011 I was happy to get a letter and several photographs of the early part of our journey together. He had taken an extra 8 days to complete the journey and I was relieved to know he had made it around safely. As I write, we have still not met in person but I hope very much that we will meet again.
Q: Why did I create this site ?
I benefited hugely from the information I found on the Internet that others had written. In creating this site, I wanted to create something that I could come back to and refer to whenever I wanted to think about ohenro. I also hope it will help and maybe even inspire others to do ohenro.
Working on this website really was like doing the pilgrimage for a second time. Many times whilst going through the photographs and reading my notes for a particular day, the feelings, the emotions and the thoughts I had on those days all came flooding back. Documenting it really helped me to appreciate what a really really fantastic experience it had been. There are so many things I could write about. Below are some answers to some simple questions I asked myself.
Q: Why did I do ohenro ?
While I was walking around people often asked me why I was doing ohenro. My answer was always one word, ummei - it means destiny in Japanese. Life conspires to lead you along a road that you choose to travel along so in that respect it was a journey that I had chosen to make even if I hadn't really made that choice !! If I had made different choices over the past few years I may well have been traveling along some other road. I doubt my Japanese was ever good enough to explain myself very well to anyone. To many, I'm sure my English will be equally inexplicable.
Q: Am I a better person for having done ohenro ?
The simple answer is no. I am better only in the sense that I know I can be a lot better. That better person in me surfaced many times and made plenty of appearances throughout this short journey. There have always been two important questions for me, "Why am I here?" and "Why am I what I am?". I found my answers to these a long time ago. Ohenro for me was a way of confronting more of my demons. The demons are the fears, the doubts, the bad habits that sometimes inhibit my peace of mind and prevent me from doing the things I want to do. The demons are still doing battle but there is no greater battle than the battle for greater self awareness and greater self mastery.
Q: Would I do ohenro again ?
Absolutely yes. One day in the future, in some life time or other, I hope I will retrace my steps around Shikoku once more.
Q: Would I change anything ?
No. The journey became what it was as a result of every step that preceded it and there are too many things I would not want to change about it.
If I do this journey again there will be things I will do differently -
- I will walk much more slowly
- I will spend more time at the temples
- I will stay at many more temples
- I will talk to more people but spend more time alone
- I will wear better shoes and carry much less
Q: What was the most important lesson ?
Be kind and be gentle in every situation. Have faith in yourself and trust in a higher power.
Q: What was the best thing about ohenro ?
Ohenro was great from start to finish but two things stand out. One was the kindness I experienced and the other, those brief moments when I found complete clarity and wholeness.
Before I left I was worried about whether people would really help me but these fears were soon put to rest because from the very moment I stepped of the bus in Tokushima, people were helping me. More than just a willingness to help me it was the random and unexpected acts of kindness that touched me in a way that is very hard to describe. Maybe it is for that reason that I can still remember Yohei at Kokubunji (国分寺 - 29). He gave me ¥200 to buy a cold drink on what was a very hot day. It was the first time I had received osettai while walking alone. He and many others like him I can still remember because of their simple acts of kindness.
There were also moments of absolute clarity and a feeling that what I was doing couldn't be more right. Those were moments when I felt connected with something undeniably and unmistakably divine. Moments of intense peace when that goodness within you literally wants to burst out. These were moments that filled me with immense gratitude for being able to do what it was I was doing and with the question - what had I done, to deserve it all ?
Q: What did you think about when you were walking ?
I thought about a lot of things during my walk. During the first 2 weeks in particular, all kinds of thoughts came to my mind. Most were inspired by the books I had read over the past 12 years, others from my own experiences and the rest as a result of the journey itself.
- You don't become a better person because you do ohenro. You end up wanting to become a better person.
- Why did I wait so long to do ohenro?
- Follow your dreams. You don't have to wait for luck to intervene.
- Don't critcize. Everyone is at their own level of understanding and learning.
- Don't be stubborn. You only lessen your own chances.
- Kindness brings out the best in people.
- Don't have self doubts.
- Don't sell yourself short.
- Heed the advice you give to others.
- Be humble. Be gentle. Be kind.
- Face your fears and take that first step. Whatever happens after that there is no failure.
- Once you decide to leave something behind don't look back.
- Appreciate the generosity and kindness of others.
- I wish I had chosen a better pair of shoes. Sometimes we have to do the best with what we have.
- I have no regrets about satisfying a yearning that came from beyond.
- Don't rush. Be patient. Everything you desire will be yours.
- We can't run away from our true nature. We need to transform it for the better.
- Don't just take. Receive with gratitude.
- We take the same path but what happens along that path is almost entirely down to us. One step this way or that, and the whole journey could turn out differently.
- I like the older ohenro-san. They seem unhurried and carefree. They speak to me and I understand them through good feelings. I want to be like them before I get old.
- We sometimes journey through life hoping someone will save us but in the end no one but our Self can save us.
- There is no harm done with a little helping hand from the Gods.
- If you look for and recognize the goodness in yourself, you will find it easily in others too.
- Persevere when you find yourself in difficulties.
- The sooner we control our negative tendencies the sooner our lives will improve.
- I'm thinking too much about the end.
- The journey is everyone's journey.
- Share what you have even if it's only a smile.
Q: Have you seen Takuya since completing ohenro ?
In early December 2011 I was happy to get a letter and several photographs of the early part of our journey together. He had taken an extra 8 days to complete the journey and I was relieved to know he had made it around safely. As I write, we have still not met in person but I hope very much that we will meet again.
Q: Why did I create this site ?
I benefited hugely from the information I found on the Internet that others had written. In creating this site, I wanted to create something that I could come back to and refer to whenever I wanted to think about ohenro. I also hope it will help and maybe even inspire others to do ohenro.
© 2011 A Shikoku Pilgrimage. All Rights Reserved.